faith

The Art of Unplugging

Does anyone struggle with getting sucked into spending too much time on your computer or the habit of checking social media multiple times a day? I admit, I do. I'll begin with a search for something I am working on, and before I know it I'm a million miles away looking at something unrelated and two hours later, finding myself feeling a bit empty. The time spent on my computer and phone has taken me away from the trees, from the poetry, from the slow and rich rhythm of nature. The wind, the leaves in the wind, my own quiet thoughts.  

Lately, I have been feeling the repercussions of the time spent on technology. Much of my business is run from my laptop, and yes, work is necessary, important and fulfilling, but finding a balance is the key. Patience and presence are two things that I've noticed get thin when I am overstimulated from screen time. As an anecdote, I decided to take a 10 day vacation to Florida to visit family. In the past I've only taken a weekend here or there, for fear of losing work, but something has shifted in me. It’s now more important to me to find a better balance with work and down time, and to foster and nurture my relationships. I've been in the entertainment business long enough to know that the work wheel will keep turning and will most definitely be there when I return. 

The 10 days of unplugging this last month was so nurturing and rewarding for me.  It allowed me time to slow down, connect, listen, empty out, recharge. Walk the beach, talk with my parents, watch my children play, read a book, listen to the waves, sit with my thoughts, sleep deeply. It was wonderful.     

And now that I am back home and into the routine of daily life, I have decided to commit myself to solid chunks of offline time every day. I mean, who can take a 10 day vacation every month?  Not me! It takes effort to carve out that time daily, but I always feel nourished in a deeper way. I actually find that I am more productive and by letting go, more work gets done, creativity flows and I'm much happier! 

Here are three simple things you can do when you feel a need to unplug. You don't have to take a plane to a far off beach to feel more grounded and connected.  

  •   GET IN NATURE

Nature is a grounding force that transforms our energy.  I immediately shift when I am outside.  I like to take my shoes off and let the earth ground me. Gardening is a meditative act (for me), so I begin pruning, watering, digging, potting, feeling my hands in the soil. Find some activity that gets your feet and hands directly on the earth. Sit in the grass, sleep in the fields. Let the high vibration of the land align your own energy field. A daily reprieve from the to-do list adds to quality of life and productivity. 

  • DANCE  

Put on some music you love, close your eyes and dance.  Self-judgment and criticism aside, this is about releasing worry and stress, letting go, feeling good.  Let the beauty and passion of the music lead you as your heart rate increases and your body warms from the inside. You only need 15 minutes and I promise you, you will feel 100 times better than when you started! Dance is medicine for the soul. The best!

  • WRITE 

Whether it's free form writing/stream of consciousness or making a list of all that you are grateful for, the act of writing shifts emotional and physical energy. Research shows that writing about future goals and dreams and reflecting on the good things in your life can make you happier and healthier. It always calms, soothes and slows me down, and brings clarity too.    

May we all unplug at times and trust that all will be well. We have to give our intentions, dreams and creations time to root and blossom in the warm glow of the sun.

Wishing you all love,

Tara

Coping with Grief during the Holidays

I felt inspired to share this article. While many are enjoying the connection, joy and celebration of the holidays, some are grieving the loss of loved ones or are struggling with sickness and sadness. Hoping this brings a little perspective and help to those who need a little extra comfort.  Written by Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Founder and Director of Center for Loss and Life Transition.

Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved.  Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness.

Love Does Not End With Death

Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that experienced in the routine of daily living.  Society encourages you to join in the holiday spirit, but all around you the sounds, sights and smells trigger memories of the one you love who has died.

No simple guidelines exist that will take away the hurt you are feeling. We hope, however, the following suggestions will help you better cope with your grief during this joyful, yet painful, time of the year.  As you read through this article, remember that by being tolerant and compassionate with yourself, you will continue to heal.

Talk About Your Grief

During the holiday season, don’t be afraid to express your feelings of grief.  Ignoring your grief won’t make the pain go away and talking about it openly often makes you feel better.  Find caring friends and relatives who will listen—without judging you.  They will help make you feel understood.

Be Tolerant of Your Physical and Psychological Limits

Feelings of loss will probably leave you fatigued.  Your low energy level may naturally slow you down.  Respect what your body and mind are telling you.  And lower your own expectations about being at your peak during the holiday season.

Eliminate Unnecessary Stress

You may already feel stressed, so don’t overextend yourself.  Avoid isolating yourself, but be sure to recognize the need to have special time for yourself.  Realize also that merely “keeping busy” won’t distract you from your grief, but may actually increase stress and postpone the need to talk out thoughts and feelings related to your grief.

Be With Supportive, Comforting People

Identify those friends and relatives who understand that the holiday season can increase your sense of loss and who will allow you to talk openly about your feelings.  Find those persons who encourage you to be yourself and accept your feelings—both happy and sad.

Talk About the Person Who Has Died

Include the person’s name in your holiday conversation.  If you are able to talk candidly, other people are more likely to recognize your need to remember that special person who was an important part of your life.

Do What Is Right for You During the Holidays

Well-meaning friends and family often try to prescribe what is good for you during the holidays.  Instead of going along with their plans, focus on what you want to do.  Discuss your wishes with a caring, trusted friend. Talking about these wishes will help you clarify what it is you want to do during the holidays.  As you become aware of your needs, share them with your friends and family.

Plan Ahead for Family Gatherings

Decide which family traditions you want to continue and which new ones you would like to begin. Structure your holiday time.  This will help you anticipate activities, rather than just reacting to whatever happens.  Getting caught off guard can create feelings of panic, fear and anxiety during the time of the year when your feelings of grief are already heightened.  As you make your plans, however, leave room to change them if you feel it is appropriate.

Embrace Your Treasure of Memories

Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved.  And holidays always make you think about times past.  Instead of ignoring these memories, share them with your family and friends.  Keep in mind that memories are tinged with both happiness and sadness.  If your memories bring laughter, smile.  If your memories bring sadness, then it’s alright to cry.  Memories that were made in love—no one can ever take them away from you.

Renew Your Resources for Living

Spend time thinking about the meaning and purpose of your life.  The death of someone loved created opportunities for taking inventory of your life— past, present and future.  The combination of a holiday and a loss naturally results in looking inward and assessing your individual situation.  Make the best use of this time to define the positive things in life that surround you.

Express Your Faith

During the holidays, you may find a renewed sense of faith or discover a new set of beliefs.  Associate with people who understand and respect your need to talk about these beliefs.  If your faith is important, you may want to attend a holiday service or special religious ceremony.

As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love.  Don’t let anyone take your grief away.  Love yourself.  Be patient with yourself.  And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving, caring people.

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